Projectile Emesis

I have always been one of those people who is very squeamish around vomit/throw up/puke/barf or whatever you want to call it. Maybe it's because I rarely did it growing up or do it now. Yes, I have had plenty of bouts of being nauseous and my gag reflex works extremely well. But for some reason, when it comes to actually producing the 'content,' I have always had a hard time actually barfing (even when I have the stomach flu - painful dry heaving seems to be the norm). Maybe that’s why my puke-phobia started and has continued to manifest itself.

I remember when I was a kid, anytime someone would toss their cookies I would do whatever I could to get as far away as possible. One time, when I was about nine years old and my cousin Angus and I were throwing the baseball in my front yard, he suddenly keeled over and started throwing up Orange Crush soda and a granola bar he had just eaten. My immediate reaction: to get the hell out of Dodge. I freaked out and ran five houses up the street to distance myself from this incident until it was resolved.

Now that I'm a father of two newborns, I’ve learned within the last few days that I have to put aside my propensity to recoil in the presence of vomit (or yellow poop with seeds). Both Mason and Ike have quickly acquired a violent ability to launch their recently-consumed formula several feet over either Brooks’ or my shoulder. And in case you’re curious, no, I haven’t stormed out of the house and run down our street to escape these situations. Now that the twins are getting bigger (each is over 9 lbs.!!) and taking in about 4 oz. of formula per feeding, I think their digestive systems are having a hard time holding everything down. We’re just going to have to deal with this as they grow and their stomachs expand. However, when they do get older and their vomiting becomes a symptom of some highly-contagious stomach flu that they caught at play group, I can’t promise you that I won’t relapse into my former squeamish self and sprint down the street.

(By the way, while I’m on the subject of vomiting, here’s my Cliff Clavin ‘Cheers’ moment. Did you know that rats are one of the only animals that are physically incapable of throwing up or burping? Other animals in this category (like me?) include mice, guinea pigs, rabbits and Japanese quails. Feel free to use that piece of trivia the next time you’re around friends.)

Brooks and I had a pleasant surprise yesterday when my grandparents, Dee and Pat, stopped by to see Mason and Ike for the first time. They are no strangers to twins. Two of Pat’s daughters have twins and she has a total of nine grandchildren. However, when my cousin Bennett gives birth in September, Dee will have five GREAT-grandchildren. Pat jokes that on their Christmas card this year the front should say ‘Hers’ - and show all of her grandchildren - and the inside should say ‘His’ - and show all of his great-grandchildren. Today they were nice to stop by with Pat's daughter Betsy (who has three children of her own) and keep Mason and Ike for three hours while I went to hit some golf balls and Brooks ran some errands. Every little reprieve we get helps so much. Obviously I still don't have my priorities in order!!


Brooks' mom Carolyn and Mason



















Pat and Dee